If You Love Them, Shove Them: Human-Centered Leadership with Author and Leadership Expert, Joshua Roberts
Leadership is not just a position. It is an inner practice.
In this deeply human and heart opening episode of The EmPOWERed Half Hour, Becca Powers and leadership expert Joshua Roberts explore what it truly means to lead with presence, compassion, and self awareness, especially when life has brought you trauma, loss, and moments that reshape you from the inside out.
Joshua shares powerful stories from his military career, including a moment during COVID when a young Airman repeatedly broke protocol and also about painful events in his own life, including the loss of his son and an experience of sexual assault, and how those moments shaped his approach to compassion and human connection.
Whether you are leading a team, a household, or your own healing journey, this conversation will remind you that leadership begins with seeing people, including yourself, with depth and presence.
The real meaning of resilience
Why true strength sometimes looks like pausing, admitting you cannot push anymore, and giving yourself space to breathe.
Healing is not a linear journey
How Joshua’s experience with losing his son shaped his understanding that some pain is carried, not conquered.
The pressure to perform
Why leaders often grind at full capacity and how that expectation disconnects them from their own humanity.
The discipline of moving forward
How choosing one small action each morning can rebuild momentum during seasons of deep emotional weight.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations
Why releasing the belief that you should be over something creates room for genuine healing and self compassion.
Key Moments You Won't Want to Miss:
Joshua’s raw reflection on the pressure to “grind” through grief and trauma, and his redefinition of resilience.
The story of a young Airman whose actions revealed the consequences of emotional neglect and lack of connection.
Becca’s insights on assumptions and missed opportunities for checking in with loved ones.
Examples of how different people respond to recognition and correction, highlighting the importance of individualized leadership.
The “love language at work” discussion that transformed Joshua’s leadership approach.
The revelation that people will often choose loyalty and commitment over money when they feel valued.
Empowering Thoughts to Take With You:
“If you love them, shove them.” – Joshua Roberts
“When people feel seen, heard, and understood, it makes them feel valued.” – Joshua Roberts
“People will stay and work for less money if they feel like they offer value.” – Joshua Roberts
“My hierarchy goes yourself, your family, then you can lead at work. But if the first two are an absolute shit show, I guarantee you number three will fall apart.” – Joshua Roberts
“I’ve come to see that in the last five years I often assumed too much and missed chances to really check in with others.” – Becca Powers
About Joshua
Joshua Roberts is a Leadership and Performance Coach, Life Coach, and author of "Leadership Level-Up: 7 Essential Traits to Become a True Kick-Ass Leader". A 20-year U.S. Air Force veteran, Josh helps individuals and teams alike—whether they’re high-performing leaders, everyday parents, or anyone feeling stuck—build confidence, lead with authenticity, and navigate life’s toughest transitions. Known for his bold yet compassionate style, Josh blends real talk, grit, and deep coaching to help people rediscover their fire and win on the battlefield of life.
Connect with Joshua Roberts
Discover Joshua Roberts’ guide to leadership in Leadership Level Up: Essential Traits to Kick Ass and Lead Like You Mean It. Learn resilience, empathy, and how to lead yourself, your family, and your team with heart.
Grab your copy on Amazon: Leadership Level-Up
Or you can also explore Joshua’s work and book Leadership Level Up at fusewellstrategies.com. It’s a great place to learn more about leading with presence, care, and humanity.
Power Links
Join Becca in her Facebook Community - The Dragonfly Effect, Where High-Performing Professionals Chase Big Dreams: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1C4z83krsn/
Purchase Becca’s Book - A Return to Radiance, The POWER Method to Ignite Your Soul and Unleash Your Potential: https://www.beccapowers.com/a-return-to-radiance
Invite Becca to Speak: https://www.beccapowers.com/keynotes
Grab Becca’s Free EBook, The High Performer’s Path, The 8 Forces of Potential for Mindset Mastery: https://www.beccapowers.com/
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We Want to Hear From You!
What part of Joshua’s leadership philosophy resonated most with you? Was it the importance of checking in, leading yourself first, or making people feel seen, heard, and understood?
Share your takeaway and let us know how this episode empowered you to lead with more heart, clarity, and connection.
Joshua Roberts: In my lifetime, I have gone through tragedy after tragedy, after tragedy, including losing my son, including being raped by two different men. You don't bounce back from losing a child and you don't bounce back from getting raped or sexually assaulted. You don't bounce back from watching your entire squad get wiped out. Those aren't things that you get bounced, you can bounce back from losing a job.
When I lost my son, within six weeks, I got sent to Korea by myself for a year, and I got put into a position of leadership. It was the highest level of leadership I had been put in. The fact of the matter is I wasn't ready because I hadn't even started healing. I did what a lot of people do and made myself busy, so I didn't have to think about the consequences of what just happened. My son passed away. My wife was in a state that she couldn't do some of the things that needed to be done. Josh goes into fix-it mode, and I handled all the arrangements and then had to get ready for deployment. I was not in a place that I was either fit or ready to lead other human beings because I couldn't lead myself.
Becca Powers: Welcome to another episode of The Empowered Half Hour. I have with me my colleague Joshua Roberts, a leadership and mindset expert, coach, and author of Leadership Level Up.
I’ve gotten to know Josh through our coaching community, Empire Partners, and I thought he would be an excellent resource for you in areas of life and leadership. Josh, welcome to the show.
Joshua Roberts: Thank you. Can you hear me?
Becca Powers: Yeah, I hear you. Let's get into the first question. I’m very happy to have you on because I’ve gotten to hear your story behind the scenes. I know your career background is very impressive, but you’ve done a very good job of summarizing your experience and expertise in a way that can really help people live more joyful and fulfilled lives.
As an author, there’s always a story behind writing a book. What inspired you to write your book and share that message?
Joshua Roberts: I was always fascinated by reading. My parents were religious missionaries in Mexico, so I didn’t have a lot of TV. I was a voracious reader and always wanted to write. I thought I’d write historical fiction, but life took a different turn, and I joined the military.
I had a lot of experiences during deployments and as a drill sergeant that I stored away. When I retired from the Air Force in 2022, I finally had time to think about all the things I had learned. My son joined the Navy and progressed quickly. I wanted to write a book to share with him the things I wish I had known.
I highlight seven character traits that help a leader go from good to great, showing my mistakes along the way. It’s humbling because while some people said, “You're the best leader I ever had,” many carried the scars of my leadership. I wrote the book in a language my son could understand, not for John Maxwells or John Gordons. Even seasoned leaders can read it and be reminded of foundational leadership: ultimately being somebody worth following.
The Cost of Indecision
Becca Powers: You wrote about flaws and the cost of indecision. How does indecision affect leadership?
Joshua Roberts: When you're in a position of leadership, you want to make the right decision. The opening example in my book was Eisenhower on D-Day. He had a small window to make a choice, and men were going to die either way. His choice carried the weight of lives.
Hesitation turns into paralysis, and paralysis is always bad. Craig Gelle, a leadership podcast host, talks about a “drop dead day”: a point by which a decision must be made. You can pause, gather counsel, but ultimately a choice has to be made. If you don’t want to make decisions, don’t be a leader.
The worst thing a leader can do is make no decision at all. I’ve seen this in combat. A frozen leader rarely pays the price; the people following them do.
Becca Powers: From a nervous system perspective, dysregulated leaders create dysregulated teams. Overthinking can freeze the team, shutting them down.
Joshua Roberts: Leadership boils down to this: people need a decision to be made. If you can’t do it, step out of the way.
Becca Powers: What lesson stood out to you when writing the book?
Joshua Roberts: The hardest chapter for me was resilience. In the military, resilience is taught as bouncing back from difficulty. But you don't bounce back from losing a child, being sexually assaulted, or watching your squad wiped out. Those are not things you bounce back from.
When I lost my son, I went to Korea within six weeks and was put into high-level leadership before I had started healing. I stayed busy to avoid the consequences, but I couldn’t lead others because I couldn’t lead myself.
Resilience, for me, sometimes means having the guts to say, “I need to take a knee. I cannot do this right now.” Many leaders think they must grind constantly, risking burnout, lost passion, or lost purpose.
I have seven traumatic brain injuries, severe PTSD, and days I don’t want to wake up. Resilience begins by deciding to get out of bed, go to the gym, and tackle your internal tunnel of grief. Some days you make progress, some days it’s slow. You may never be over losing a loved one, and that’s okay.
Becca Powers: People need permission to see resilience in rest and honoring their limits.
Joshua Roberts: Exactly. Sometimes resilience is knowing you can’t lead right now. Good leaders create leaders so someone can backfill when you step aside.
Empathy and Leadership Duality
Becca Powers: Your book talks about the duality of qualities, like empathy. How do you see that in leadership?
Joshua Roberts: Empathy is putting yourself in another's place, but it has a cost. Leaders who are overly empathetic without boundaries can overshare or burn out.
As president of a nonprofit serving veterans, over-empathizing would prevent me from doing my job. Discipline is needed, but understanding the “why” helps guide people back to standards.
Becca Powers: High standards matter, but so does understanding why people miss expectations.
Joshua Roberts: Right. During COVID, an airman smuggled his girlfriend on base. Initially, I was furious, but he explained he felt lonely and unseen. Discipline was necessary, but I also had to reflect on how we were caring for our people. Leadership is about both standards and care.
Joshua Roberts: If you love your people, shove them. When people feel seen, heard, and understood, they feel valued. Value often gets replicated. Learn the love language of your employees or family. Some value words of affirmation, some value time, some recognition in front of others.
Becca Powers: That’s powerful. Leaders and parents both need to understand people’s needs before guiding them.
Joshua Roberts: Making people feel valued keeps them engaged. Employees will stay for less money if they feel valued, but leave if they don’t. In leadership, your empowerment is making people feel seen, heard, and understood.
Becca Powers: Josh, where can people find your book?
Joshua Roberts: It’s on Amazon: Leadership Level Up. Also on my website, FuseWellStrategies.com. You can follow me on social media as well. I appreciate this opportunity to share my heart.
Becca Powers: It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for sharing your leadership insights.
